Overcoming Fear In Performance
When you play music, feel that it is not you who is playing.
Somebody else is playing and somebody else is enjoying. But
that somebody else is part of you. One part of you is playing,
one part is enjoying and still another part has become the
music itself. So the moment you start playing, make yourself
into three parts. Feel that one existence of yours is playing,
another portion is observing and a third part of you is the
music itself. You are the creator, you are the creation and
you are the reality that exists in the creator and the creation.
These things need not come as mental thoughts or images; far
from it. At a glance they can come.
Sometimes when you play, on the strength of your heart's oneness
with the audience, you can observe one thing. There are two
hearts: one heart is your small heart, which is playing, and
the other heart is the big heart, which is listening. Again,
the big heart is playing and the small heart is listening.
The audience is the larger heart and you are the smaller heart
that is expanding and becoming one with the larger heart.
When you are playing, try to feel this. And then feel that
you are the larger heart and the audience is the smaller heart.
If you have this experience, then you will feel that you were
one and now you have become many, and that you were many and
now you have become one.
This is what happens when the smaller heart and the larger
heart meet together. The smaller heart is the seed and the
larger heart is the tree. The seed grows into the tree and
the tree gives birth to new seeds. If you can see it in this
way, then at every moment your music will give the greatest
satisfaction, for this moment you are the seed, the next moment
you are the fruit. You are the fruit, you are the seed; you
are the dream, you are the reality. This is what the heart
feels.
Whenever you perform, feel that you are not performing in
front of fifty people. Feel that there is only one person
listening to you, and imagine that that person is a child
only two years old. This is the human way.
The divine way is to see immediately the Supreme before you.
If you see the Supreme and feel that you also are the Supreme,
then how can one Supreme be afraid of the other Supreme? There
is only one Supreme. If you bow down to the Supreme inside
each individual in the audience, then immediately you become
one with each individual. Then you will not be afraid. Because
you do not feel your oneness, you are afraid. But if you are
one, then you don't feel afraid. This is the divine way.
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